


Click your heels and wish for me.

by unhookingstarswithoutpermission



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Split, Texting, they're so stupid and this is so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4066978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhookingstarswithoutpermission/pseuds/unhookingstarswithoutpermission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan misses Brendon a lot, and he decides to text him. </p>
<p>  "<i>From: Moon, 20:27</i><br/>I miss your skin<br/><i>To: Moon, 20:31</i><br/>Click your heels and wish for me  <br/><i>From: Moon, 20:33</i><br/>I always do, you never come."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Click your heels and wish for me.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt for this fanfiction was "Texting all night long" (even if it's not actually all night long but whatever.)  
> Written for the "Screw Prompts, give me points!" challenge from the Facebook group "Prompt Me Now!".
> 
> /Yeah, "Moon" is Brendon. Let me hope./

Ryan hadn't deleted Brendon's number yet. He scrolled forward everytime he read "Moon" through his contacts, trying not to look, but it was impossible. He hadn't even edited his name, so a bunch of memories came back everytime his eyes fell on that name.  
There was only one thing is his life that Ryan regretted at all, and it was Brendon. All of him. He regretted knowing exactly what Brendon liked and what he hated, he regretted every piece of skin he touched and every part of him he didn't memorise good enough to still remember.  
Memories still did come back and hit him like an hurricane. The things he left came back to him like flashes: Brendon's smile, his voice, they way he looked after they had kissed. But the thing he hated most was that he still remembered every word Brendon told him, every song, every line.  
He still had some of their texts saved. 

_From: Moon, 20:27_  
I miss your skin 

_To: Moon, 20:31_  
Click your heels and wish for me 

_From: Moon, 20:33_  
I always do, you never come. 

Ryan hadn't read them for the longest time, and they felt like a knife buried deep in their guts now. He felt so pathetic, so stupid and incorrigible, but he felt the need to write something to him. Anything would have been good enough.  
He wished Brendon hadn't changed his number yet. 

_To: Moon, 02:33_  
Hey. 

_From: Moon, 02:34_  
Ryan? 

_To: Moon, 02:36_  
... Yep. 

_To: Moon, 02:37_  
How are you? What are you doing up this late?

_From: Moon, 02:39_  
Are you seriously trying to give that small talk shit to me? Ryan, I deserve way better things than this. 

_From: Moon, 02:41_  
I know you hate me, but please don't. 

_To: Moon, 02:42_  
I don't hate you. 

_To: Moon, 02:43_  
And don't be such a drama queen, Bren. 

_From: Moon, 02:46_  
You disappear for so long, and you dare say that I'm the drama queen? 

_To: Moon, 02:48_  
What else could I do? I left the band! 

_From: Moon, 02:49_  
You know that I didn't give a shit, I just didn't want to lose you. 

_From: Moon, 03:01_  
And don't tell me again that bullshit, that you had "other artistic preferences" and shit. It was your band, we would have changed anytime. 

_To: Moon, 03:03_  
It wasn't the real reason I left the band. 

_From: Moon, 03:04_  
Oh, really? Do you think I'm so stupid I believed you? 

_To: Moon, 03:06_  
You don't want to know why I left. 

_From: Moon, 03:07_  
I do, or I wouldn't have replied to you in first place. 

_To: Moon, 03:09_  
It was you. 

_From: Moon, 03:11_  
WHAT DID I DO?

_To: Moon, 03:13_  
You haven't figured it out yet? I thought you were way smarter. 

_From: Moon, 03:14_  
Please tell me, Ryan

_To: Moon, 03:16_  
You weren't just a friend to me. 

_To: Moon, 03:17_  
Oh, I'll regret saying this

_To: Moon, 03:17_  
I loved you. 

_To: Moon, 03:25_  
Bren? 

_From: Moon, 03:27_  
If this is a lie, I'm going to kill you. 

_To: Moon, 03:28_  
Cross my heart. 

_From: Moon, 03:30_  
Why didn't you ever tell me? 

_To: Moon, 03:31_  
How could I? You were always surrounded by girls, I thought you couldn't ever love me back. 

_From: Moon, 03:32_  
I am fucking bisexual! 

_From: Moon, 03:33_  
And there were so many girls around me, but it was you I was kissing every day. 

_From: Moon, 03:34_  
It was your bed I slept in every night. 

_From: Moon, 03:35_  
How did you think that I didn't love you back, even just a little?

_To: Moon, 03:37_  
I caught you with other people, Bren. 

_From: Moon, 03:39_  
Yes, after we fucking fought! I'm not proud of what I've done. 

_From: Moon, 03:40_  
We could have fixed it, tho 

_To: Moon, 03:41_  
What about Sarah? 

_From: Moon, 03:42_  
Oh, don't you dare threw her in our shit. I love her, and she loves me, but she came after you. 

_To: Moon, 03:43_  
Anyway...

_To: Moon, 03:45_  
I don't think this text thing was a good idea. 

_From: Moon, 03:48_  
Oh, it was. I want to know everything. 

_To: Moon, 03:50_  
How much time do you have? 

_From: Moon, 03:51_  
All the night. 

_To: Moon, 03:53_  
Ok. Don't text back till I'm finished, please. 

_To: Moon, 03:57_  
I think I've loved you since forever. Bren, you can't understand how happy I was when I was with you. I'm still not over it, and I don't know when I will be.  
If I will. 

_To: Moon, 04:01_  
When I kissed you, I thought I was fucking all up. The band, our friendship.  
You kissed back, and I don't have to tell you how the story went. I've not forgotten it, and I refuse to believe you have. 

_To: Moon, 04:04_  
I've realized I was in love with you shortly after this happened. It was tough, trying not to spurt my feelings out. I tried to never end up so drunk I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  
You didn't say you loved me, so I thought I was just a toy or something like that. Not that I minded, being near you was enough. 

_To: Moon, 04:07_  
Then you said you loved me, but you were drunk and you didn't remember the morning after. You never said that while you was sober. And we became lover, but without love and with so much sex.  
I was afraid, and angry, and I had to keep my mouth shut against the blankets when we were having sex. 

_To: Moon, 04:11_  
You said so many things while you were drunk. You said you hated that I didn't want to be kissed in public and a lot of other things.  
It was one of the last times we got drunk together, but you don't remember. 

_To: Moon, 04:13_  
And I wasn't able to lie anymore, so that's how we ended up here. I left because my love was yours but your love wasn't mine and I hated that.  
_To: Moon, 04:15_  
And that's it. 

_From: Moon, 04:16_  
Wow. 

_From: Moon, 04:18_  
Why didn't you tell me sooner? We could have saved ourselves. 

_To: Moon, 04:22_  
I couldn't, Brandon. You were so fucking beautiful and I was so fucking miserable. 

_From: Moon, 04:24_  
I loved you. For a long time. Now I don't feel that way anymore, but you will always be my first love and I won't be able to forget that. 

_From: Moon, 04:26_  
I didn't say I loved you because I wasn't able to. I felt so stupid, and I thought you didn't love me back. You didn't say you loved me, either. 

_From: Moon, 04:28_  
You were my sun, I told you. And you know what the moon is without the sun? Invisible.  
You destroyed me with your silence, you asshole. But I loved you anyway. It took me too much time to be over it. 

_To: Moon, 04:30_  
I'm sorry. 

_From: Moon, 04:32_  
I am, too. But there's no coming back now. We have new lives. 

_To: Moon, 04:33_  
Say it one time, please. 

_To: Moon, 04:34_  
I'm begging you. 

_From: Moon, 04:36_  
I loved you. 

_To: Moon, 04:37_  
I loved you, too. 

_From: Moon, 04:38_  
Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I did my best, and I kinda checked this a billion times, so if there were any mistakes I'm really sorry. I'm not English. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!


End file.
